Empty roads.

Woke up early to kick it with D. We planned to have a photoshoot of our slabs, but in the end it didn't happen. Instead, we hung out doing this and that and when here and there. It all wasn't too long. It made my morning.

It was then afternoon, and I was home. I pondered, what to do? The day was open. My father and sister both left after I got home, so I became home alone. Eventually, my tired body got the best of me and I took a nap, and I woke up almost three hours later.

I applied to places where I'd like to work and I thought that they never got back to me. Actually, one place did, last Tuesday, and I only heard the message they left today. Damn, that sucked, because the lady wanted me to call back so she could talk to me. I felt like giving up because five days had passed. But, with encouragement, I still called and now I've got an interview Monday at 9 AM, which I think I need to move to 9:30 or 10.

Night fell and I went out, after mowing the lawn (which I'm pro at by the way...), to watch Vantage Point with Ron. Again, he hooked it up with free food and a ticket, and tokens to play some Initial D. We raced and I was about to win, then he messed with my gears. What a sore loser.... The movie was cool, but definitely no one appreciated all the flashbacks. Cool movie nonetheless.

It happened again. Our plans fell through. Not even going to talk about it....

My friends are tight.

Drove around again and loved it. Kept up with, I mean taunted, a newer Mustang. Haha, that was only just for fun. I did it because I wanted to enjoy the ride, the road, and my own self. It's clearing, liberating. I...: Right on Aborn & Heritage Estates, Right on Capitol Expwy, Right on Jackson, Right on Berryessa, Right on White, and Left on Quimby. Yeah, I know, badass man. It was a giant square around the east side. I think I even polished my sense of direction a bit; it sucks. Next time, and yes there will be a next time, I'm going to keep track of how many miles I cover. Then, a better idea of how far and much I drove can be achieved. Man, I just love driving around alone and at night. Spacious, spacious. Adventure plus music. Finding ...yourself. Price -STFU.

Back to that one topic....

I know I said I'd stop this and not do that anymore -I know. Yet, I gotta be honest and say that I'm not fully away from it. I'm trying, and I've succeeded in the past with quiting, because that's all I gotten from you, but it just isn't working. Maybe this time it won't be so quick or easy, or maybe this time it's going to be something else. Frankly, I just want to be close. Why? To see that all these years of that feeling inside me wasn't worth nothing. That I felt how I did and got nothing out of it, not even the slightest bit. Do I really care, I ask myself and find that I can't answer it with a single answer. So, I don't know what I can do now. Senior year is going to end quicker than I know it and even if things became something... what then? Some weeks of school, most of summer, then college comes, and not to mention we've got to go through the motions. I know you're what you are and by being that you're expertise exceeds this region of colleges. I, well I probably am going to stay here, even though I've got the credentials to go somewhere else; that's another topic of its own. Anyways, my decision is still the same. Do not pursue.

Who cares, I guess, I just have to swallow it, and I don't even know. So....! Make V's out of your two thumbs and pointer fingers and put them together. Then, yell it loud, say, "Whatever!!!"

I am so tired right now and I "have" to wake up early again to work on my car. I just want to relax. Also, homework has to be done. Many things. Complaining? Only about the rest-less part.

Goodnight.