Happy One Year Cameilla!

College is cool. Work sucks. Sunshine is great! And everything else is cool too.

WHAT'S UP?!?

Hiatus yet again.

The past few weeks have been dope. Hands down, this is the best summer by far, just because. I went to LA and LV, and they were fun. I miss the fam over there now.

I begin school, college, in a week from today... damn. But, I know it will be fun and cool, I just have to stay on top of things.

Today was awesome. Thanks to you who invited me and made it worth while. You deserve a smiley... here it is: :]

Watched Mirrors last night with a homegurl, it was scary at times but a cool movie. I ain't trippin'.

Now, I'm hellllllza tired. It never ends or becomes better. I still have to eat and I, again, hopped that I would sleep early; and I might even kick it more! :O I have work the whole day tomorrow and plan to watch a movie afterwards with my 'ol homegurl.

I guess that's all.

MUCH LOVE TO LTA!

G'night.

Handshake.

1:00 AM

For the past three nights, I've been coming home after, at, and close to 1 AM.

All this talk about living it up, living your life to the fullest, you only live once, etc. is consuming me, or starting to. I think this feeling or thought is inevitable. Now, that I'm young, at my age I witness it more among my peers. Shall I conform? The principle is noble, but I believe my life has boundaries, or it should have. Maybe there's a way I can still live the best of both worlds. Or, is it even that easy? Test.

LL is coming up, props to my boys. Its unfortunate how my skill has, I guess, died. I miss it direly. I was raw. No doubt about it. And I know that if I try hard enough, I can get it back. But life has made me preoccupied with other things. I hope one day, I revive the name Paradox; even though people still spit it like its the shit.

Tired. Performing tomorrow morning. Goodnight. Creatine slurp....

Just great.

Today, so far, is dope.

So far I've eaten:
Two steak taquitos from 711
One Starbucks Doubleshot + Energy
One Starbucks Doubleshot
Taco Salad from La Salsa

...I think that's all. Just wanted to share.

Today at work was so chill. At last I picked up another D Sport mag, and it's off the racks. I was reading during work. I also traded shifts with a friend. The benefits of that was more hours and me not having to close. Today, three or four large groups came and watched a movie. When I mean large, I mean 25+. Yup. Also, new shirts, schedule, and paycheck. Cool more.

I recently just fixed (the heck) out of my college schedule. I'm so relieved and happy!! Excuse... YAY! No more gap and the new schedule seems so much better. Let's do it.

I guess I'm off to the gym, I know I should workout. Then again, I want to relax and watch things and I don't want to wait. Hahah, but I guess I must.

Oh yeah I forgot, yesterday was Paradox J's bday. Happy belated 'ol friend.

Bye.

Savvy.

Today was great.

Performed early, hung out with A, gym, practice, Dougs.

At last, according to D, I "finally know how to drive stick." I concur.

New pair of Nudies, finally, too.

School soon... work tomorrow morning.

Ghost!

It's nearing.

Orientation was actually fun. Most of the time. I thought it'd be this and that, but it was alright, even cool. I had great times with Cuts and the new peeps I met. Especially, our roommate Frank.

Driving around in Ron's Suby was fun too.

Practice was cool.

Gym was great.

Chillin' as usual.

Batman tomorrow! Finally.

What a day.

Oh, what a day.

It feels so good to be back!!!

Now seems like a good time to blog.

This has been my longest hiatus ever. I thought my "readers" would have said something to me. Things like, "where ya been?" or "why haven't you been blogging?" Truth is, honey, I've been busy and I haven't been up to it. So, here goes:


SO MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE THE LAST TIME.

Word. Trust. Believe me.

I'm not going into detail because that would mean I'd have to dive to the bottom of the pool. Hopefully, as you may notice or not, my metaphors haven't left me. :] And on that note, Paradox is dim. So dim. Basically, I think I've lost it. Not the ability, but the drive, and that's crucial. Well, I'll let time alone to somehow "heal" Paradox; if he needs any healing at all.

Reminder: Paradox's birthday is on July 30th. He'll be 5. Yay!

Today is Thanksgiving at Church. If you don't know what that is, you may ask. This year, this time, it's so much different from how all my other years are. I don't want to get heart-to-heart right now, but I believe it's all part of growing up. Can I blame something? If I could, the world tainted me. Yet, come to think of it, who has it not?

Again, I stress, so much has changed in my life. I see things different now, I think different now, I act different now, I'm always busy, I'm always going here and there doing this and that -you get the gist. (No need to bore you with crafty descriptions. They're just for fun.) ((But if you don't get the gist, I fear for you....))

Ahh... I try to exhale the worries, and succeed a bit. I'm just going to take today as another day. For I know, it'll be grand.

That's all. I thought I was only going to enter a tiny blog. Heh, guess the blogger in me has reawaken. Peace out.

Back with a vengence.

...Kinda, not really.

Well, lots have gone on since the last post. LOTS. Again, I mean it. And describe? I don't feel the need to.

Anyways, I'm done with K-12. I graduated, yay! Yesterday and today were cool.

Thats all. Peace! Summer, here I come!!

Lost.

Yesterday was cool, the morning was okay, day was fine, and night was fun but turned alright.

I received news that I can't go to SJSU anymore, because their capacity to accommodate new freshmen have been filled. That sucks major ass! I applied back in November, and pardon me for not being able to get everything done early, but wtf. That upset me and it still does. My peeps even gave me a "talk" late last night... that messed up my late evening. Now, I have to go to a JC. I don't want to go to a JC because it's just more years of high school, to me. Whack. Sucks... I didn't make it to art college, which was my dream, and now I can't go to a university. I don't even know anymore.

Work yesterday was cool. One bad thing was that I returned from my lunch break late, I got mixed up on what time I should be back. It's all good though, because I wasn't able to receive any of my last two breaks. Also, what made yesterday cool, was that I was temporarily switched to work in concessions and podium. It was cool to experience how other positions work and feel. I'll jump at the chance to help out somewhere else besides the box office.

Oh, I finally got a tint yesterday afternoon! It looks great and I'm relieved. It took about three hours and while waiting I walked around the area. I had breakfast/lunch at L&L's then my dad picked me up soon after. It was a bit cool to walk around instead of driving for a change.

After work I hung out and caught up with Kski. It was major fun. We talked until 3:30ish, then I had to go. Miss ya!

Gotta do things today, but I'll approach them later. I just want to relax right now.

Back.

I'm back from not blogging for over two weeks. I think this has been my longest hiatus ever, and I don't feel so bad about it. Trust me when I say A LOT has happened over the break. So, I'm not going to go into details about 'em. Anyways....

Today was dope. Today was senior ditch day. And, this happened during the hiatus, even though I have a second violation of truancy, my father still called in for me. Thanks Dad. I began my day by sleeping in just a bit then went to EV Donuts to meet with a few people. After that, I returned home and got ready for whatever. In the process, Cuts rolled through, I tried to plan the day (because I had nothing), and later Terence rolled through.

At last we had a plan. My car was filled with Mel, Ron, Terence, and myself. We went to Capitola beach, where we later moved to another beach close by. The drive was fun and I returned to the highway that freaked me out the first time; 17. The twisties were good and it was a blast, I did fine. Also, once I got onto 17 S, I chopped it up with an STi, it was bomb. We were in the fastest lane and when it cleared up in front of me, I gunned it... or tried to. He kept on my tail. If it was another car it wouldn't be cool, but since it was a suby it was alright. It was mad funny, everyone was laughing. Too bad I don't have a turbo. Then I threw the peace out my window and saw that he returned it above his steering wheel, then he exited.

Being at the beach was cool. It was fun to hang with my fellow classmen. I didn't really do much but it was still cool. We stayed there for maybe an hour and a half. We left to go to Hooters.

I have finally had the chance to go to a Hooters. It wasn't all what it seemed it would be, I think because it was the one in Fremont, s'all good. This time the party was accompanied by Brandon, and he made it even more livelier. The food was good though, really good.

Ride home was fun too. Sleepy heads... haha!

After Mel had to leave, the rest of us guys chilled at my house. Man, they ducked up my room. Terence didn't do anything but it was mostly Ron and Brandon. We held Brandon down and all that stuff and tickled him like crazy. He squirms... crap. Kicked and ducked up everything in my room, forreal. LOL. And... Ron broke my frame... beezy. Its okay. So, we all separated and I brought Brandon home.

I took Terence to the gym with me. He felt weird because he hasn't worked out in a long time and I felt incomplete because I was tired, but I had to do something. Gym workout for today was okay.

I'm here now the same, nothing's changed. I'm still tired and all that and still don't want to go to school. Whatever though, I just gotta keep going. Alas, I blogged again.

Late!

Good.

Today was a good day. I'm still busy and tired and school still sucks.

I woke up unable to go to the gym so I slept in a bit and went to school. Peeps were home so I talked with my mom a bit. I told her I'm tired of school and she told me, "no, you love school." I snickered.

School was okay. I was in formal clothes today because I had two presentations. I "hung two birds with one tie." Yeah, I came up with that. The first one was okay, but I read off my cards too much. Which, I know not to do since I taught myself not to back in middle school. Whatever. The second one was abrupt because I was pressed for time. I guess my other group mates took too long, but it's not their fault. I believe I did well on both and received good grades.

I hung out at home a bit after school before work with my peeps. Also, I saw an STi in the lot and I hope it isn't a student's. No one on the forums has replied to that sighting. Then, I got ready and left for work.

Work was cool. Three hour shifts rock. I was even at the end and then I left. I also parked next to that bugeye I always see. And, it kind of surprised me after I checked it out.

Got back home and went out with my mom. That was nice. Her and I have never hung out. Especially the two of us and me driving. We went to Costco and back. Finally, I got new glasses on the way. I think I left my old ones at a party a while back.

After dropping her home I quickly got ready for devo and left, again. Made it in time for devo and after went straight to the gym. The gym was packed as I began but more people left leaving space. I also saw a few friends. My workout was good, a good workout that I haven't experienced in a while. I worked out my arms to day, but unfortunately I couldn't finish my schedule.

I called up D and went to his house. This was after 10pm. We put on the RS badge on my hatch and chatted a few. Then, I went home.

Did stuff and here I am. Burned a quarter tank today... yay. And, discovered that I direly need an oil change. Hahaha... goodnight.

It's been hectic....

School sucks. Period.

I guess I have "senioritis," but who doesn't? I mean, mine is the real, legit, type. I've been skipping classes again, and I don't like it.

This week is fun. Yesterday, I went to the theater, I had to experience it, and it was alright. It was a mixture of whack and OK. Then, I went to third late, because I went out for lunch, and didn't go to fifth. Neither did Ron, because we both had work and didn't feel like it. So, we both went to work and my time there was cool.

Today, we, LTA + Mel, signed and bounced. It was funny because Ron got out through the front, but we couldn't. So, we went in the theater and left through the curtain. Other people did too. It was funny. Now, all of us went out. It was fun because we all bonded and all that. We all went here and there.... What sucks is, I made a mistake, so did everyone else, in believing that class started as the same time as yesterday -dead wrong. The three of them went to class but I decided not to. I didn't want to walk into second, where I was supposed to take a test, ten minutes late. In the end, I know I should have just gone. I don't even know.... Then I went to class and am now here home. While we were all out I even studied. Whatever I guess.

And to add to the truancy; I know for a fact that we're just watching a movie in my first period tomorrow. I don't even think I'm going to go. >:O This is bad.

That's an update of "lately." Bye.

Grinding times.

This weekend is cool. Work is tiring and takes my whole weekend. I watched movies after my shifts though, these past two days. I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night and Harold and Kumar 2 earlier, with LTA + girlies. It's cool. Working hard and rewarding myself by taking part of the perks. Even though it's tiring and tough, and peeps grill ya, I get by. I'm hecka tired right now though. So, that's it. Imma go chill.... Goodnight.

Earnings.

Just got home from working my first midnight showing shift. I worked from 6:15 pm - 12:30 am, but got out a bit later. The day was cool. People were nice and I had artwork to keep me busy.

Got my check today... paid!

It feels so good just crusin' down the street late at night when you're the only one occupying the road. Pure bliss. Driving the limit with your window down and music playing. Refreshing.

My short shifter and knob came in, yayuh! Kartboy SS with a Prodrive SK. Sex.

Now, I'm hella tired and am gonna eat then sleep. I don't even know if I'll get up on time, but whatever. Also, I got work again tomorrow. Close to an eight hour shift. There goes my Friday.

I had this in my info for a bit:

Things I want to accomplish before I die:
Own an STi or have mine swapped.
Be married and have at least a boy and a girl.
Name my son Silus and my daughter Sobe and/or Camella. (Don't bite!)
Get someone out of the way of something that would hit them, thus saving their life.
Meet and take a picture with someone famous.
Write my heart's song and paint my best painting.
Make or be in a skateboarding film.
Have met my "hot, lost, exchange student."
Graduated college and attained a job where I'm head.
Buy a big or just a nice house for my parents to grow old in.
Go to Japan.
Go on a road trip with friends/family.
Sleep for, at least, a full 24 hours.
Reached at least 5'10" in height.
Teach a class or mentor a group.
Had long hair and a beard, then after that shave it all off and go totally bald.
Be featured on a musical CD.

Yawnnnnnnn, goodnight!

Getting past.

Yesterday and today were both cool.

Yesterday and today at work were super busy. I'd say that yesterday was worse than today. Forbidden Kingdom is definitely the weekend box-hitter. So many showings of that movie were sold out before they began. Ah... sigh of relief.

The meet last night was fun.

What else? Every thing's cool. Yup, cool cool cool.

Late, I'm sore.

Alright, not all right.

Today was "coo."

Woke up early and went to the gym and had a killer workout. It was awesome. My two day workout is lifting off quite well, but when I have free time, I still feel the urge to go work out. So, I'll work that (whole thing) out.

I even cooked myself breakfast and packed lunch. How... reminiscent of my younger self. Got to school on time and again parked in a cool way. Bitters have copied the steez... bitters....

School was cool. :]

After school, I kicked it with the boys a bit and we had lunch. Then, I cleaned around the house a little and washed my car. I did a quick job but it was enough to satisfy me. And then, I scooped up Ron and we went to work.

Work was cool, it went by alright today. Box is lonely though.... If you ever get hired at the theaters, try to work in concessions or at least be able to move around. I closed today. I even got my schedule and found out that next Thursday, I have to stay until 12:30 AM because of the Harold & Kumar Pt. 2 Midnight Premier. Bastards.... Anyways, work is still all dandy.

Pulled on an Integ earlier with Ron in the car.... What's up GRANDMA!?!?!

Now, I'm hecka tired and must sleep (soon.) First, I gotta eat though. Goodnight.

A day like today

Today, or this morning, was cool.

I only went to one class, out of five. Five, half hour classes. Don't ask why....

After second and on my way to third, Cuts approached me with a question. We left. Then, we returned and I was about to be late to fourth, and I was late to it yesterday and I didn't want to walk in again; plus I might get lines. So, I changed my mind, and Danny and I left. Got stuff then came back. It was break and I had one class left. I was on time, but was like what's the point. I left and ran up Mt. Hammy.

Finally, I ran Hammy and it was fun, I even took a few pictures. It was soothing. After, I went back to school and hung out for a bit.

I came home to face my mom with dishonesty and I hated it. ;[

The day, today, isn't over too. Let's see how it goes. Until later then, bye.

School sucks.

Repeat. School sucks.

External Forces.

My week...

Monday - Wednesday:


Thursday - Friday:


Indeed. Now, off to watch more 70s Show. Late....

Crash landed smack-dab in the middle of Ptown.

Today was mainly a day of debate for me, it was weird. I've never had a day like this. My morning began cool, I woke up on time but was only late because I got McDonald's. I missed getting breakfast before school. Though, my teacher didn't take roll until after I was there, so I don't know if she marked me late or not. I also turned in my paper and was proud of it.

In second period, we had our Nature Vs. Nurture team debates. I tried hard but my team lost. I think I gave up the final point to the other team. Oh well and it's all good.

Also, during second period, it came to knowledge that there was a recount for Battle and the Juniors are the actual winners. I was like... what? I'm not trippin', but it does effect me because I put a lot of heart into it, and it seems like it was just taken away. What I'm saying is that, why take it away from us Seniors after giving it to us? Honestly. Time has passed and we already celebrated, plus the seniors always take it, so why? I'm just saying and I don't expect any answers. The Juniors now will have their time next year, flat out. I guess they just ranted enough to find something to change. I'm going to the "meeting" after school and there will be more debate.

Fourth period, my class had debates about proposed amendments. And boy, it was difficult to vote in favor for an amendment I liked. Ones would seem good in the beginning, but with all the minds collaborating, you discover possible weaknesses of ratifying these amendments. I believe my group did well and they say I saved them at the end from public badger. It was a nice feeling but I just feel that I cleared things up. We all did a great job defending our amendment.

So, I'm here now and today was "oh what a day." I'm waiting for Digiorno to cook and I'm chillin'. Maybe I'll update on how the meeting goes. Later.

Truly in Ptown today, and I felt fitted.

100th Post!!!!

One hundredth post baby! Oh yeah! You better believe I'm in it to win it! :D

Without further adieu, let's get on to blogging....

I woke up late today. Not late for class, but late, way late, for the Starbucks date I set up with my homies. It was funny because I got a call from Cuts and once I answered it, he immediately knew I just woke up. Haha, it was funny, besides, no one actually went. Lol, if someone did go though, I'd play it as an April Fool's joke. But, I'm not that cruel.

Damn. It. Puts. You know what I mean. (Cut 'em.) FACK, that shizz was hilarious.

School... was cool today. Happy bday again to Renato. Haha, I know you had fun.

After school I went to the library to pick up my books, then went to King library to get another. It was cool, because this time I didn't get lost. Haha. I remember the last time, it was before I got my car. I called up my uncle for directions to get back home, and I circled the place a lot. Not this time though hoe!

Got home and got crackin' on my research paper. I do feel relieved now that I've finished it. And, I kinda can't help but be proud of myself for a little bit because I got it done. Even though I procrastinated and went on a serious trip, I still did it. Kinda makes me feel how I used to feel.

My paper's nice! Eleven pages, including bibliography. Proud a bit I am. It's funny because I even fell asleep while working on it. LOL! I was tired and took a break to lay down. It was around 6 and I didn't wake up until close to 7. Ahh... refreshing. So, english paper done, psych next. Let's go negro!

I'm chillin' now, like I always do. I don't know what else to say so... I guess that's all. Hope you enjoyed my 100th post. Late!

Reminder: -- - - --Checked 4/1/08

Reminder: Blog about today, March 31st, 2008, because it was definitely blog-worthy.

Over and out....
_________ Updated!

First and foremost, Happy Birthday to my brothers Renato and Reggie. I'll always have love for you both because we grew up together.


...I don't know what I'm still doing up. It's late and I have school tomorrow. I guess my body is still used to vacation time, but I'm smarter than that. Luckily, I don't have first tomorrow, but instead I set up a Starbucks date with my homies. So, I still have to rise early.

Today was a good day. I was on a serious trip however, not a trip as in going places, a trip as in I was trippin'u. I thought that I had two research papers, one for english and one for psychology, due this week. That, the english one was due on Wednesday and the psych one was due tomorrow, or today rather. I was seriously tripping, again I say.

I had errands to run today. I had to ship shoes, go to the library, and go to Goodwill to buy a piece of wooden furniture for art class. So amidst it all, again... I was trippin. I originally planned to begin my Monday bright and early at 5:30 AM playing ball with Cuts and my church brothers. That didn't happen because I didn't wake up on time. Nor, did Cuts; he slept at 4:30 AM. So when I woke up, I freshened up and went to Cuts house to box up some shoes. I also bought us breakfast; how nice of me. We boxed up the shoes and ended up hanging out for a bit. We chilled, ate, and watched Monk. I did only plan to stay as long to do what I needed to do, I was running on a busy schedule, but friendship just has a way of making things chill. My plan was to go to his house, mail the shoes, go to Goodwill and after all that be back in time for the Library to open.

I knew it all along, all throughout break, that I needed to act on my books quickly. That, I needed to check out the books that were on hold for me ASAP. That never happened though, I waited until the last minute (and I still am.) Back to the story, so I didn't fulfill that plan. By the time I was done hanging out with Cuts, it was time for the library to (supposably) open. I then went to the library. Long story short, even though I'm going to explain, it was closed. Days prior to yesterday, I've been going on the library's website to check the business hours and there were red text saying it'd be closed March 31. I never made the connection that that would be today. And adding to my stress, when I thought those papers were due, I had two crucial books waiting for me.

I said F it all and decided to go home. Allow me to say it again, "I was on a trip." I referred to it as being in Unkville, Unk-Central, or later declared as Ptown, Punk Town. I was punking myself.

I'm going to cut things short....

So, later I found out that I've forgotten that my psych paper was due at the end of the year. Dumb me. I already knew that my english paper was due on Wed, so that did lift some weight off my shoulders. But, I did also discover that one of my art pieces are due tomorrow. I tried to work on it a few hours ago, I didn't finish. It's not that important to me at the moment.

I'm all over the place right now, so indecisive, hence why I'm still awake.

I decided that I've got to finally find a piece of wooden furniture. So I swooped up Cuts, yeah, I saw him twice in a day, and we went to Goodwill. That trip, a good kind of trip, was fun. Yes.

Returning, I swooped up Steph because she needed to use my printer. Then, plus my sister, we left and I dropped my friends home. Ate and I went to practice.

Ok, so that was the choppy version of my day. You get the idea. Now to the present:

I'm sitting here, not feeling so well. I'm stressed because of the things around me, and I know that I should not feel any of this. Is it me? Is the problem within me? Do I need to fix it myself? I don't know. I do know though, that this will pass. I'm in another one of my "emo" phases, but I'm not so emo right now. Today was probably just a major head-case that's still with me. Reeking havoc on my health and future. School, my high school assignments... they don't really matter. Truth. Right now, college seems like a drag to me but I know that's not what it's going to be. I know... I'm going through the motions. I have excuses, but I can't help but feel that I'm just complaining.

I have a valid excuse for now working on my assignments over break. I really, truly wanted to though. I also wanted to hear the messages my teacher left for my parents, but I never got to. Bottom line, I didn't have the, key word, quality time. I had time, but not time destined for school work. Is it my fault? I worked four long hard days out of this "spring break." I knew times could get like this, but I wanted to get a job. Once again, am I just complaining?

I've gotten through things before and I've swallowed my pride before. Just each time I've got to, it always hurts in a different way.

I believe blogging this has relieved me a bit and now I feel like going to bed. (Yay! It worked!) Yeah, hopefully I'll go. Gotta get things set for today before I can officially fall asleep. Then, once I'm there I've got the business of actually falling asleep. That is a bittersweet problem for me. Gosh, how I don't like that word anymore. I've had episodes of insomnia, and I love them. To me, being a bit of an insomniac is cool.

I think I should shut up now. Bye.

Last minute smiles.

I finally watched Bank Job. I knew it was about to be taken out of service, so I had to get on it. Also, I finally used my employee benefit: free tickets. I treated my fam to watch it. Big ups to Fon for hooking it up with food, lol. Bank Job was tight, just how I knew it would be.

Today, I discovered within myself that I have the ability to titty jiggle. No joke, it's awesome. I even made a video.... Now, the world can see.

I'm going to wake up at 4:30 AM to play bball an hour later with peeps. I'm excited, but the fatigue and all the hw make me not want to. But, I'm going to.

Goodnight.

I can relax now.

Yesterday was my last day of work for the remainder of this break and a few days. I work again next Thursday, and that's a long time from now. So, I can finally relax. After work, LTA, alas, regrouped and kicked it. We did our normal routine, which consists of a Denny's run and a movie, or something to watch. This time, we all made a pact to get something else, not what we usually order; I usually order the Country Fried Steak. Yup, aren't we adorable? I'm still tired right now (when am I not?) so I'm going to skip along details. Basically, it was fun.

I still have things to do, like mail shoes, cash a money order, and go to the library. I'm going to attempt these today.

After I got out of work, I let Futs drive my car to the gas station. Man... hahahaha! Many stalls and discomfort. Reminded me of how I started. And then at 76, some gangsta ish happened. Haha, you'll have to ask me about this one if you're curious.

Break is almost, not basically, but almost over. I'm screwed because I never started any of my papers. No comment.... And, there are people that I still want to see before break ends. I just couldn't, due mostly to work. Yeah, work is cool because the people are nice and tight. Man, enough talk about work, geez!

Okay, I guess this is it for this lovely Sunday afternoon. Fon wants to kick it again tonight but I don't know... so we'll see.

Layta!

It's almost time to get up! But, I still gotta sleep!

It's 4:33 AM and my heart is pounding ferociously sending blood all around my body. Why? Because I have been dancing here alone in my room. Yes. That's the truth, the real reason why. I feel like I want to start popping again. Oh, how good those days were....

Work was okay yesterday and I have work today too. About eight hours of it.... And, I'm missing most of Cut's party. Gotta work Saturday too, that means I can't attend Steph's party. I so wish I could go to both parties and enjoy time with my close friends, but I can't. Hm....

Ah... I guess it seems that my heart has slowed down and is not making a racket anymore (stupid thing!) Maybe I can rest now, my body's been dying for it.

Outskis!

Factoids :: Jerome-isms.

I don't know what this will become, but it's a nice idea and it may even be a series of confessions. But, enjoy.




I cry (inside) when it's late at night and I'm alone hungry.

I never mean any harm whatsoever, just things become unfortunate.

I'm not as fast, or smart, as I used to be, and that makes me sad.

All my days are the same and I complain about them. No matter what I do they always end up occurring the same. As in, I try to sleep early but get caught up in something and end up sleeping the same time as last night, then I wake up late, again. You get the picture... I hope.

I feel as if I've lost my dream because I'm not going straight into art school.

I'm disappointed in how I do things and what those things become.

My room is always messy, except for the times I clean it; then it just becomes messy again.

I've got secrets.

I wish I could have more freedom, but the truth is I've been getting so much freedom before I could understand what it was.

I LOVE late nights when I'm awake watching a movie or something.

I can't freestyle as good as I used to.

My group never reached our goal of putting out a mixtape by '08.

I'm not kicking it as much as I used to with my group.

I'm not preparing myself as I "should" be for college future.

Working (an employment for minimum wage) is equivalent to being screwed.

I thought my car was a WRX when I got it... how stupid of me.

Now I'm making the best of it -I know I should. But deep down, I continue to fight myself about it. Refer to ^ (Yet my slab is still dope =P)

I always try to be the best in something, but I never am. And that usually makes me quit.

When my grades fall in classes, it's because I don't or am not understanding something. Then it all grows and I'm left far behind without a clue.

I ALWAYS need to have matching socks. Oh and, black socks > white socks.

I absolutely love driving or having adventures late, late at night or in the early morning.

I drive around sometimes, alone, and it clears my head, even if I have to worries. It puts me in a calm place.

I don't know how, many times, when I save lots of money it somehow decreases quickly without me using it to buy items.

I'm always conned into action, I guess it's because I'm the responsible one.

I'm journeying into a world of independence, and it scares me a bit.

I'm not scared or afraid or terrified of anything. Seriously.

I'm extremely shy and quite nervous.

I'm a good public speaker... to classrooms and enclosed groups.

I wish I never lost touch or let space fill between me and some friends, but hey, it happens.

I wish my dad would stop drinking.

I talk back to my dad.

And my sister. And I'm clever with my mom.

I don't regret anything that I have ever done.

I lagged so much on making an art portfolio. That's a reason why I didn't go through with it.

I have a lazy side, that out of nowhere emerged, that I despise.

I still think about my latest S.O., but not in a way of attraction. I just miss the friendship we had.

I do, would like to have someone right now. I'm not worrying though, I'm waiting.

I love watching movies.

I miss how I used to read so much, even though they were Mangas.

I've made it a severe priority to see each member in my family before I shut my eyes.

I love my sister SO MUCH, that I literally cry at the thought of her dying.

I don't really follow or care for politics.

I Myspace everyday.

I'm a true JOKER. I excessively joke and not a day goes by without me smiling. Many times, though, I cross the line and people get upset. To me, the bottom line is: a joke is a joke. And I ADMIRE the people who understand that.

I've been a victim of advertisement, propaganda, and mass appeal.


I guess that's all for now. I'll name this Part 1. I'll definitely continue it, but I've got Round Table and American Gangster waiting. Late!

Work tomorrow... about seven hours... goodbye Thursday.

Nice!

Today was fun.

I woke up and ended up not test driving any WRXs with Marlowe. Another time.

I started my morning off by hanging out a bit with Janet. I had errands to run and asked her to come along and she did. We went to the library, because I needed to, and found out that it wasn't going to be open for another two hours. That sucked a bit. Then, we went to Lucky and got things. After that, we drove around looking for a yard sale so I could get a wooden piece of furniture, for art, but found nothing. And then, I dropped her home. Thanks for kicking it Janet!!

When time came close to 2PM, I swooped up Marv and we went to Kuya Dylan's house. His house is nice and so are his friends. It was cool to hang out with him after not seeing him for a really long time. We all went to Gold's Gym and worked out. Gold's Gym is much more sophisticated in bodybuilding than the Y is, because it has way more things than the Y does. Its also cheaper monthly, but far from home. Marv and I had to go so we bounced.

We made it to practice by a hair and Marv was hyper. I'm thankful that we made it. :]

After practice, Marv and I went back to Kuya's and ate dinner; they barbecued for us. And, we also watched the Warriors Vs Lakers game. Tonight was also the first time I ever played Rock Band, its a sweet game. After all the bonding ended, Marv and I went home.

I was on 101 about four times today and none of those times did I do less than 75. Haha.

I sure used 'after' and 'then' quite a bit in this blog.

I'm so sore... and tired, as always. I've got work tomorrow so I better head. Goodnight!

At Here.

Work was cool, it wasn't that busy and the three breaks made things easier. I ducked up though. I would have been exact at the end, with a sneaky maneuver, if I hadn't stamped the check "VOID." That hella sucked, big time. Oh well.

I'm reminicing about high school. That 'sad' feeling of the end of high school is making its way. Damn, all I can do is await it. I feel like blogging about my years, but with all the diversity I just can't capture it all. Let's just keep rolling.

I love my Seniors, Class of 2008. I swear, I just truly love them.

I'm about to chill, and hopefully, chill with my nigs later.

Happy Birthday Ron!!!!! Take it easy brotha! Now, all LTA are 18. Cooooool. :]

Btw, I was late a few minutes to work.

Yay.

Just got home....

Last night was Battle of the Classes. I was fortunate to get out of work so I could perform. And, it was fun. It didn't begin like all the other Battles that I've participated in -I wasn't pumped up. Its because I wasn't ready. Haha, yeah. I messed up in every dance. :D

So everyone did their thing and in the end my class, the Seniors of '08, won first place. Congrats y'all!

Then, everyone went to the after party. That was fun too. And after, I spent the night at Neeks. Who, by the way, before Battle, Ron and I cut his hair and carved a Swoosh in it. Hahaha. He was hecka trippin when we messed up, but we fixed it and now everyone says its dope. This guy....

So I'm here now, hungry and tired. I'm thinking about eating breakfast, or lunch rather, maybe wash my car because she's looking awful, get gas, and go work. :[ I don't really want to work, but maybe today will be fun. I get to get a lunch break now, haha, and I'll be with more peeps in the box office. Plus, I'm off before the movie rush. Maybe, I can even watch a movie tonight.

Now, I'm on vacation. Spring Break, and the following Monday off, and no first, faculty schedule, on Tuesday. Sweetness. I definitely want to go somewhere this break. Hang out and enjoy times. But, I've got to seriously work on two research papers. Sucks....

Got in trouble in Business class with my group and we all got a zero out of a fifty point assignment. Damn Mufs Cereal. Lol. S'all good, I don't really care that much. Just that, my A+, yes A+, dropped to a B-. Gay!!! Ms. Perez said she's going to call my parents and I told my mom and she wasn't mad. Haha, yeah, clean conscious.

Alright yo, I'll be back later. Bye!

Walking.

I'm tired. Really tired.

My first day at work, last Saturday, was pretty good. Five hours. And I wasn't short at the end, instead I was over $0.05. Haha.

Battle is this Friday and I'm not ready.

I'm most likely going to be scheduled to work this Friday. If I am, I'm going to call in sick. I've got to.

I'm blogging scattered details since I've been away.

American History X is a really great movie. Fight Club wasn't what I thought it would be, even though it had so many positive reviews. And the 25th Hour was meaningless to me, just a plain story that takes place here and ends there.

I've got to write two research papers. Gay crap.

Oh yeah, I'm really tired and busy.

Today, I went to school, then went to the gym, had a good 'welcome back' workout (discovering how weak I've gotten), then went to practice at school, then home. No rests in between. Imagine my exhaustion.

OK, I've got nothing more. I'm going to try to sleep early. Bye.

Responsibility

So, I've got a job now. My first, official, employed job. Let's see how this goes. From me, mixed with the time, it calls forth a more responsible me. I've got to muster it up.

CAN NOT BE LATE to first, or miss it, again. Late on Monday, skipped Tuesday, and skipped today. All due to waking up late.

Ok, let's get on with life. Ciao.

Groovy.

Today was a good day. I woke up on time and wasn't late to first period. For second period, however, I was but it was excused. Jereme and I stayed two minutes after the bell looking over our grades with our teacher. He had left a binder that he needed for other classes at home and I thought of the idea that we could go pick it up and be excused with a note. Our teacher began to write us a pass and I asked for her to add a few more minutes so we could "use the restroom." Of course, we didn't use the restroom, instead we went to Jereme's house. The time on the pass said 8:15. We returned to school around 8:25. I told Jereme that I could change the 1 into a 4 so we could have more time, but that was too much time. I asked if he had a blue pen and he did, and it was a matching color. So, check this out, I skillfully added a curve on the top of the 1 and on the bottom, making it into the cleanest 2 ever. Seriously, it was perfect, perfect. That, was the slickest thing I have ever done the whole week, month, or year. No kidding. We walked into second period at 8:30 and watched The One Who Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

After school met up with D and we kicked it. I washed my car at his house and we went to a few places for wheel locks. I also drove his car, and a turbo'd one for that matter, for the first time. I only stalled once, at the beginning lift off, because his pedals are much stiffer than mine and I have to press his down harder. Other than that no problems. It was funny because Mira caught me on the road and shouted, "What the hell!" as I drove by. She wondered who's car it was and I said it was his, pointing to D. That was funny to me. Later D ended up not being able to go to the meet but it was all good. Nice rims brotha.

Anna and I hung out for about an hour at my house watching That '70s Show. It was fun. Thanks for visiting Anna!

The time came where I departed for the... Suby Meet! The meet was dope. I saw some familiar people and meet new locals that I'd be friends with easily. I also ate at Wingstop for the first time and it's good. I had fun talking to people and joking around with my friend Daniel. PDM FTW is all I can say. Its tight to see the Subaru community gather. One thing that ended my time there happily was that a mod on the forums said that my car was the cleanest one there, he even said "seriously." That was cool to me. Haha. Its cool because he's a mod, who are people that are "up there," and that he drives an STI and that I'm just an NA. All the little DIY projects give my car its style. Thanks D for everything.

Leaving happy, it soon turned upside down. Long story short, and I won't go into details, I got lost. Lost bad, and worse that it was late. And even worse, I was pulled over by a cop. Not exactly pulled over, but pretty much what it is. You can ask me about this some time. Cut to the chase, I was let off because I proved I was honest and was given directions. I followed them, with doubts, as best as I could and ended up on Capitol and knew my way home. Yay... ahh, I can relax. I need a GPS BAD!

So that was my Friday. Check y'all later. Late.

Empty roads.

Woke up early to kick it with D. We planned to have a photoshoot of our slabs, but in the end it didn't happen. Instead, we hung out doing this and that and when here and there. It all wasn't too long. It made my morning.

It was then afternoon, and I was home. I pondered, what to do? The day was open. My father and sister both left after I got home, so I became home alone. Eventually, my tired body got the best of me and I took a nap, and I woke up almost three hours later.

I applied to places where I'd like to work and I thought that they never got back to me. Actually, one place did, last Tuesday, and I only heard the message they left today. Damn, that sucked, because the lady wanted me to call back so she could talk to me. I felt like giving up because five days had passed. But, with encouragement, I still called and now I've got an interview Monday at 9 AM, which I think I need to move to 9:30 or 10.

Night fell and I went out, after mowing the lawn (which I'm pro at by the way...), to watch Vantage Point with Ron. Again, he hooked it up with free food and a ticket, and tokens to play some Initial D. We raced and I was about to win, then he messed with my gears. What a sore loser.... The movie was cool, but definitely no one appreciated all the flashbacks. Cool movie nonetheless.

It happened again. Our plans fell through. Not even going to talk about it....

My friends are tight.

Drove around again and loved it. Kept up with, I mean taunted, a newer Mustang. Haha, that was only just for fun. I did it because I wanted to enjoy the ride, the road, and my own self. It's clearing, liberating. I...: Right on Aborn & Heritage Estates, Right on Capitol Expwy, Right on Jackson, Right on Berryessa, Right on White, and Left on Quimby. Yeah, I know, badass man. It was a giant square around the east side. I think I even polished my sense of direction a bit; it sucks. Next time, and yes there will be a next time, I'm going to keep track of how many miles I cover. Then, a better idea of how far and much I drove can be achieved. Man, I just love driving around alone and at night. Spacious, spacious. Adventure plus music. Finding ...yourself. Price -STFU.

Back to that one topic....

I know I said I'd stop this and not do that anymore -I know. Yet, I gotta be honest and say that I'm not fully away from it. I'm trying, and I've succeeded in the past with quiting, because that's all I gotten from you, but it just isn't working. Maybe this time it won't be so quick or easy, or maybe this time it's going to be something else. Frankly, I just want to be close. Why? To see that all these years of that feeling inside me wasn't worth nothing. That I felt how I did and got nothing out of it, not even the slightest bit. Do I really care, I ask myself and find that I can't answer it with a single answer. So, I don't know what I can do now. Senior year is going to end quicker than I know it and even if things became something... what then? Some weeks of school, most of summer, then college comes, and not to mention we've got to go through the motions. I know you're what you are and by being that you're expertise exceeds this region of colleges. I, well I probably am going to stay here, even though I've got the credentials to go somewhere else; that's another topic of its own. Anyways, my decision is still the same. Do not pursue.

Who cares, I guess, I just have to swallow it, and I don't even know. So....! Make V's out of your two thumbs and pointer fingers and put them together. Then, yell it loud, say, "Whatever!!!"

I am so tired right now and I "have" to wake up early again to work on my car. I just want to relax. Also, homework has to be done. Many things. Complaining? Only about the rest-less part.

Goodnight.

The Lonely Driver Chax

So I woke up on time today refreshed. I scooped up Ron and we got donuts and went to school. Then, we joined with Kyah and Danny... then we all didn't go to first period. Instead, we all went to Starbucks on Felipe. Ron influenced me not to go, but it was my decision. His was that he was really tired, didn't do hw, and needed to study. I didn't do hw and wanted to chill. I kind of talked Kyah to come along and he also didn't do hw. Danny, didn't have anything to do in his class and was let out. We kicked it there until second period.

Second period, psyche, was fun because the class went to the library for research, and whole classes in the library are always more fun than staying in the classroom. Kyah and I sat at one of the tables near the back and we each had a laptop, and we did work and surfed. Cool, chill stuff.

Rest of the classes were cool. Art was finally interesting again because I'm starting a painting and I love that. Gov't... well, I was late, because I hung out in the parking lot during break, with the same plus one peeps as the morning, and I was ordered to do 100 sentences stating, "I will not be late to class." No biggie, because in fifth grade I had to write 500 lines of "I will not act stupid on the playground." Still though, it's a waste of time, but easy.

After I got out, I dropped Annie to work and Ron to his cousin's house. After all that, I went home and got ready for the dentist. My appointment was at 1:30 PM and I was worried that I wouldn't make it on time. Weirdly enough, I did make it -exactly at 1:30! That made me happy. But what killed my happiness was that I waited for an hour to be serviced. Half an hour to be called in and then another half waiting for the doctor. I feel asleep a few times on the chair too. It was cool though, and then I went back home.

Anna came by today and returned my season of House DVDs and we chatted for a bit. Fun times like always!

I took a nap and didn't even know it. I was just laying down and woke up, you know how it is. I did that because I had nothing else to do and no ideas came to my mind. I woke up, went downstairs and hung out a bit with my two favorite ladies: mother and sister. Mom brought home some dinner from a restaurant in Santa Row and I eat some. Then, time came soon for the meet and I got ready and left.

Suby meet wasn't the best this time. The drive there was cool though, I was just driving regularly. I arrived half an hour late... to find no one there. Wow... haha that really sucked. So I went to Starbucks and waited across the street until I saw some people come. Then I joined, lol. Only a handful of people showed up, the regulars around my age. Nonetheless, it was fun and cool. We all hung out, after waiting for the cop to leave, and departed. Drive home was fun again.

Since I had an hour to kill I wondered how to do it. I came up with kicking it with Cuts or Danny, but I wanted to be alone and enjoy the road. I thought of running with Marlowe up Quimby, but he couldn't go. So, I just drove around the neighborhood by myself, going here and around to there and back again. It was bliss. Honestly, I missed, and love, driving around alone at night. It's solemn and eases your mind. So, I went here and there, don't worry about the specifics. Time came and I went back home.

Now I'm here chillin', the thing I do best. And tomorrow morning is a new day for opportunity. Haha, I'm so tired I'm talking nonsense. Goodnight.

Fun.

Today was. I'm hella tired and don't want to go back in my mind and blog it all. So, here's another quick place waster!

Late.

So....

I tossed and turned plenty during last night's sleep. I kept waking up, then checked my clock, then went back to sleep. Around 5-something, I woke up again and checked the clock; it showed 5-something. So, I became delighted because that's the desired time for me to wake up. It's not that I need to get up that early to get ready for school, but rather because I shower long and try to get food before 7:15 AM. And of course, after seeing the time, I fell back asleep. A phone cal woke me up early 6 o'clock. It was my mother and she said she got a flat tire and told me to send my dad. So I responded with action. I woke my father up and asked if he needed me to go too, because I finally learned how to replace a tire after working on my car so much. I was kind of bummed though, because this wasn't in my plan and I had gotten up early enough to do my things, but it was all good. My father and I left and I replaced my mother's flat tire. She got picked up by her friend and went to work and my father and I drove back separately.

It was fun on the road. I was revving at my dad and driving how he doesn't want me to. Haha. He even called me at a red light saying how he likes how my car looks. And before we went home, we stopped at Starbucks. Now, we both returned home and got ready for work and school. And how inevitable, I was a bit tardy to my second period class.

I was kind of insecure today at school, I don't know why that was really. My body just felt uneasy, then my feelings became dull. I wasn't socializing with my classmates as much as I usually would. But, quicker than I knew it, school was almost over for me so I stuck it out, and went home at lunch.

I've got a dentist appointment at 3 PM, and let me tell you: I despise the dentist. I always have. I actually despise going to any doctor for any reason, unless I really need to, like when I got stitches. I don't like going for check ups or anything like that. I just don't. I guess I get too self-conscious that I just don't want anything to be wrong, like an illness, abnormality, or the dreadful cavity. I do take care of myself though, but I can never shake this feeling.

Since I've got that awful appointment, I cannot make it to battle practice. I feel as if I'm letting my class down because I have not been going to any of the practices. I can't really say anything because most of the time my reasons are legit. My schedule just isn't letting me squeeze in battle practice. And in a long time, I've got some amount of homework to do, it reminds me of the times in middle school. So I want to do all those early and not complete it all at night.

Ok World, let's do this. Maybe I'll write more tonight, but I doubt it. Enjoy! Late.

Hurts.

The most "coolest" thing that happened to me lately was that I nurtured myself back to, close-to-okay, health. I had a little fever last night. Little, yet still a fever. I had no one to be my nurse, no one to be that figure that takes care of me whenever I'm sick -.... But it was all good. Basically, I took care of myself and that is why I consider it the coolest thing that's happened to me lately. I drank this and that, I took bites of this and that, used a cold face towel, pissed a lot, and most of all slept a lot. I knew I'd get through it, because I wasn't alone. Unfortunately, I've still got a headache. Maybe it's even a migraine.

Yesterday, D and I, along with Al, worked on my grill. It's cool how our custom grill still looks like the stock one. Ha-ha.

After procrastinating with homework for the whole vacation, I managed to complete my homework today. Not all on my own though.... Who cares?

So, school tomorrow. Yay, I want to see the familiar faces but not go to they classes I don't want to. Just another day I predict -eh, we'll see.

That's all I can muster up at the moment. I'm so tired, I've got to sleep. Lata!

More continuation.

Came home late again today; 1AM. I'm still adjusting to my latest behavior, which I know is not wrong but isn't always favored. However you interpret that, good luck.

I overslept this morning. I wanted to wake up at 8AM and scoop up Cuts and go to D's then get an alignment. Instead, I woke up from a call from D at 9-something. Whackk... and my bad on that. Got ready, scooped up Cuts, went to D's and we headed out. After two weeks, I finally got an alignment, with a 15% discount. Thanks again yo! So, when my car was finished we got lunch at Eastridge. Walked around and stuff too, then we went to Starbucks on Felipe. Went around there to and whatnot. Then we all split. My morning revolved around them.

I went home and began to clean. I did not finish the laundry because time to get ready for dinner was approaching. My peeps went to Costco and my sis and I went to Outback for dinner. Dinner was great with my fam, I missed hanging with them. It was funny because when I got back to my car, a black STi was parked next to me and it had mods, so I knew he saw mine. More funny- funnier, the owner came by and I talked to him. I asked if he was going to the meet tonight and he didn't even know that there was one. I told him when and where and he said he'd go and I said I'd see him there. And I did see him there a bit later. I went back to the east side and got Cuts and went to D's (again.)

Eric and D were already ready to go, so we bounced. Later, Danny met up too. The meet was fun, even though it got off to a slow start, but fun nonetheless. PDM is way hilarious. I was anxious for this meet because I wanted to show the latest things that D and I have done to my car; they're worth seeing. When I rolled up, my friend told me, that he was stunned. He said to me, "when you were rolling up, I was like: who is that?" Haha, because my car has gone through such a change. Seeing more Subies was dope tonight, also seeing the regulars I recognize. Then, a cop came and messed everything up. Oh well, whatever... peace! In the end, people split because of him.

Danny, Cuts, and I went back to D's and chilled for a bit, then we went to another "meet" over at Lawrence Expwy. It... wasn't there anymore, but it was okay. I got Starbucks, again, for the third day in a row. Geez.... We all hung out some more. I wanted to get home and after a while we all departed. Danny and I had fun on the freeway back. ;]

Got home and everyone was asleep. I just did my thang and went back in my room, where I am now. Earlier this week I came up with the idea of going to SF to shop and LTA loved it. Now, they're going tomorrow and I don't even know if I can go. I plan to ask in the morning, because asking this late would be just too much- even though it's kinda a lot already. Yes or no, no problem. I do feel that I've been going out a lot, maybe not too much, but more than desired by my parents. It's just something we're going through... Oh shut up already J.

Tired and I've got a "mission" to employ in some hours. G'night.

Continuation.

Each day of this week off school, I have woken up somewhat well rested. What I mean is, that I slept like I was knocked out. The reason for these, odd, wake ups is due to the night before. Which in the end means that I rocked out with my cock out. ...Was that too much to say?

So, I woke up again like that today and saw that I left my computer on. Oh yeah, I've been forgetting to turn things off too, like my computer or DVD player. Again, I didn't go to battle practice, even though it was probably canceled. I feel bad because I haven't been. It's not because I'm purposely playing hookie, its because of my schedule or mood. So, whatever.

Finally went to the gym today. Worked out my chest, traps, and abs... yay. After working out, I went to my friend Marc's house. There, I chilled a bit with him and Marlowe.

About a month ago, my car was bone stock, with the exception of a Pioneer stereo; which still makes the car basically stock. And now, totally not. Deniss and I have done so many things to it. It seriously has gone through nothing but a makeover. We're excited and not yet completed, but sure have come a long way. Today, Friday, we are going to go to the Subaru Meet; I hope nothing prevents me from that.

How am I feeling now or lately? I feel weird, an adjustment type of weird. This past week, and even weeks (plural), I have been going out at night and staying out late. It's all basically due to my friends and me wanting to hang out, but it just affects me weirdly. The reason is because I grew up differently or that I'm just not used to it. I know that, at my age, times like these are normal, even expected. But I can still pause and look around and say something. One thing is that I have limitations that my friends don't really have. I can't go out and stay out late every night and go home whenever, like my friends can. It's all well and good thought, but of course I feel that 'what if?' It's nothing, honestly, I'm not tripping or am jealous, because I know everything is good. So, I'm just riding with it. I'm being me. ...And I guess that's all... I don't know what else to say.

Happy birthday to my homie Rico! I miss that fool.

Yada, yaday, yada... wsup. 'Til next time. Bye.

The times are changing.

Today I hung out with Mel, Ron, & Cuts... twice. We all ate at Cluck's then split then regrouped and bowled at 300. It all was loads of fun. We finally bowled, really; after Ron kept complaining about it since Sunday -whatever. Haha.

I drove hella today and hella far altogether. Went downtown and back and Malpitas and back, and other places probably.

Yesterday I went to Great Mall and watched Step Up 2 with Ron. How... cool.

Today, more mods baby. Vinyls were added also. Really, my car has been under the knife for the past month, crucially even. We're going to show this Friday at the Meet. "Why you so mean today foo?" Lol.

I'm currently considered unemployed because I'm over 17 and am looking for work. I've applied to three different places and have received no words... yet. Hm....

Getting off it... again and again, how gay. I don't know why I try. I mean, I know why, but not why. Hahaha yeah....

Staggered post! Laterrr!

2/15/08

I can honestly say that yesterday was the best birthday that I've ever had. I tend to refrain from saying those type of things so I don't sound too cliche, but it's true. I can only remember my 16th and 17th birthday, and my 18th beats them all.

To those who called, IM'd, text'd, or told me verbally: Thank you all very much!

School was cool and I thought I'd have some drag during the classes, but I didn't. Anna did the most things for me that day. She left things on my car, gave me things, and hung out with me a lot. Thank you! Jereme Saran wrapped my car and I got him back. Hehe. Most of all, LTA gave me love. School on my birthday was fun.

At night I had so much fun with my homies. Even though it was a major cockfest... it was alright. Lol. Cuts and I went to the girls' Senior Night bball game. The game was cool and so was being there. After that ended, Danny met us and we all headed to University Chicken. It was my first time eating there and it was good, so I think I'll be back another time. Over there, my Mexican homies came too, Lethal Logistics and more. The atmosphere was alright despite the differences in cliques.

We couldn't find something to do after so we ended up loitering or hanging out for a while, I almost got scared that the night would run dry. It didn't though. So, after people left and departed, a few remained and that few headed to school. Haha.

It was Cuts, Ron, Marv, Andre, Danny, Neeks, and Me at school. We just hung out and chilled. We took pictures of our cars and I drove on campus. Lol, just some juvenile, slightly innocent, fun. We had an adventure.

Ron and Neeks went their ways and the rest of us returned back to my house because I had curfew. At my house we hung out some more and joked around like stupid people. :] Then we left and I dropped some off home. I returned around 4 AM and went online for a bit. Succumbing to my fatigue, I crawled into bed. My birthday had come to an end.

So good morning, you. Last night was still the best even though things didn't really go the way I hoped, but I'm not even tripping. Today's plans include: get an alignment and have dinner with my family. Its still a Saturday and I don't know what will fill in the gaps. Well now, I guess this is all I can tell now. Let's begin Today!

One word sums it up.

Priceless.





My birthday is tomorrow, yay! I guess it's cool... haha. I'll be 18 years old.

Crush.

Not the liking crush but the breaking crush.

The second phone call I received this morning stuck with me the whole day, even up 'til now. It disturbs me. I wish it hadn't happened the way it did. To sum it up, that phone call conversation was unpleasant. I now hope to straighten things out with my father.

Today was fun. I went places and hung out with people. Again, I felt that feeling of, I guess, being out on my own, and not in a positive independent way. It just has to take some getting used to for me, because I grew up in a way where I never could stay out or go out so late and much. People may read this and be like, "what the heck..." but thats how I feel. Its a bit difficult for me to explain but I'm sure the modern person is smart enough to understand. And its because I've always been somewhere where my parents knew, now thats changing. Moving on...

Anna's birthday party was fun. I ate four plates of food and was not stuffed at the end of it. That was because I didn't eat for the whole day and it worked out fine. From going to many parties in my life, I've learned to be prepared in specific ways. I try not to eat a lot before the party because I know the host wants me to eat and sometimes if you don't they feel offended. I've witnessed, myself and others, who say, "no thanks, I'm good," when asked to eat. Its awkward. So, I'm over all of the nervousness and shyness of going to parties and celebrations. If someone asks you if you want to eat, eat, if they ask you to relax, relax; it's all gravy. Happy 18th birthday Anna! And I hope you love my gift!

Kicked it with D again (again and again and again.) We did more mods on my car. Its so spectacular of how my car has been modified these past weeks. Everything all started over two weeks ago, and after the drop, we can chill for a bit. But really though, its jaw dropping of how much work we've done in the time we did it in. We're really innovative and we do not plan on quitting anytime soon. Thanks again D!

So now I'm here chilling and anticipating. I hope everything ends well and my father and I can reach an understanding or agreement, because having hostility between family members is just not right. This is only temporary, because I know we can overcome.

:] G'night.

So this is how it's been....

I have not blogged sufficiently enough, to my standards, in a long time, to me. And, during then, lots have gone on. But sure, who really cares? Not many. But who really reads for interest? A few or more. So what is the use, what's the point of me doing all this and trying to stay on top with my writing? I don't know, it's just something I like to do. So whatever.

School was okay today. Most of my classes, if not all -wait, yes, as I'm typing I change my mind; all my classes were dry today. Oh well, you have your days. You get the image.

After school I met up with my brothers and we all hung out and worked on my car. Within the past two weeks, serious work as been put into my car -its amazing. So much manpower and elbow grease and energy... all into one transportation machine. Why do it? Um... because its love. So now, my rims are painted, toe hook painted, and I can't wait to slam her. :]

So I decided to go to the game, after getting Starbucks first. As I arrive at school I run into Cuts in the midst of his evil deed. Funny shit. After running around, we watched the varsity girls' game. They played well and earned a nice victory. Congratulations to them. After the game, I hung out with Cuts for a bit then we bounced.

Now I'm here....

Sidenote:

I guess I've found myself trying to attain something that I want again. And like in the past, I have not gotten it. So, I quit. I've repeated this cycle for this particular entity many times. Many times in the past that I might even describe it as countless. But whatever, that's my automatic response -whatever. I quit again and that's that. "...The way the cookie crumbles," is how it's said, and from day #1 I've always understood that line. I embrace that line because, as they saying goes, "in the words of the great philosopher Mick Jagger, you can't always get what you want."

Consider me done for the rest of my high school life. No matter how hard that attraction hits me or if it comes back after a while, I'm going to resist at all costs. Its kind of serious because I'm so convinced, so convinced, that it won't work, that I won't get what I want(ed.)

This may seem emo, but it's not really. I'm not complaining, just plainly explaining. So that's all, I don't want to rant about this topic because it doesn't deserve it that much.

End sidenote.

Thanks for reading.

That's what you get.

From now on, I'm not going to do that thing again unless plans are legit. Hanging out and just chilling is cool within itself, but too much of that, with not knowing anything to do, sucks. So, no more. Also, I got unked last night. The thing that I was looking forward to the most, and possibly the sole reason why I did what I did, didn't go through. Oh well, its all good.

More mods and more plans! 'Til the next mod. *raises fist.

Lately,

Lately, I haven't been in the mood to actually blog with detail. Tonight's may be somewhat in the middle.

The Meet was dope, probably the best yet, because of how all the people interacted. We talked, we joked, we laughed. I also brought D, and I could tell he had a blast. First meet in two years, it was for him. I'm glad I was able to be a part of it. Mentor like crazy. Everyone loved our wagons -Wagons Rule!

Chillin' at home because I have to. I'm not tripping though, because I know its all good and for the best.

OK, I guess that's it. G'night, later.

Birthday in two weeks!!! 18!

Simple.

Today was cool.

Developing.

Past few days, or time since the last post, have been really well.

Did some good stuff DIY mods, with the great help of my brotha D., to my car. Sweetness is making its way to me.

Got a potential customer to buy my long-tried-to-sell Unkles. I hope this one doesn't flake like all the rest did.

Gotta go and get things done! Late!

Again....

Did this and that, saw that and this, drove here to there.

Hung out with my boys again. Love them! :D

Tired right now, but I still want to be active. Nah though, because its better to be here in my comfy room with my comfy bed.

Goodnight.

Super cool time today.

So I did wake up early enough to carry out the plan I thought of last night, and so did Cuts. We were, as little or much as we were able to, ready to get going. On the other hand, Ron wasn't. Beezy. So, in the end the result was that we did not go play ball at 5 AM, and we all went back to sleep. Later, Ron called me and I filled him in, kinda making it his fault; that's what Cuts wanted to do. I ended up living one of my worst fears this morning, waking up late and getting late to class. I went to get Starbucks... I needed food.

School was alright, pretty cool. It went by quickly and that's always a plus. OK, enough with school.

After I left, I went to D's house. We worked on my car a little bit, doing multiple DIY mods. It was a great growing and learning experience from me. Because, when you want to learn, you gotta learn from someone who's more experienced, like him. Debaged my trunk, removed notice stickers, changed headrests, and removed Subaru center caps. Nice stuff for the beginning phases of modifications. Also kicked it with him and Marlowe and just hung out.

I relaxed at home and kind of did what I planned to do. I planned to have a 'Think about college day.' I did not end up doing that like I wanted to. Haha, let's try today, Saturday.

After waiting the whole day, I went out to watch Meet the Spartans with LTA. Like all LTA hang outs, it was dope. Meet the Spartans was mad funny, but also mad stupid. It evens out and not in a good way. But, it was cool. And a thing that jazzed up the night was joining and hanging out with another friend of ours, Candice. It was great that she came along and spent time with us; she never has, nor have I. It was doper. The four of us went bowling and we played 2-on-2: Cuts and Ron & Candice and Me. Candice, and especially, I began our game slow, but like all underdog stories we ended up with the better end. We won the match. Yay! Well is how we did.

I finally, and can't really believe that I did, let people learn/practice stick with my car. I usually don't like the idea, but tonight was different. Candice and Cuts drove and I think they liked it, I know Cuts did, (too much even.) After circles in a parking lot, we headed home. Drive back to our respective homes was fun and dandy. 'Tis was coo. Candice lives kinda far... super nice house and neighborhood in my opinion. So, left to drop off were the two boys. After a few wrong turns, I found our way and pursued it. Goodnight Cuts, goodnight Ron. In the door I go, home around 1:30 AM. I was surprised that I didn't get in trouble for being out that late. I mean, I know I shouldn't because I did nothing wrong, but I'm not one of the kids that can stay out so late. On some level, I wish I could, but I know its not all about going out and staying out late. So, I'm okay, I'm good, I'm not complaining.

That was Friday. The weariness is making its way to fully consuming me, so goodnight reader. Peace.

LTA STATUS!!!

Love my homies. LTA all day. They know wsup, and so do I.

So... put my vision of going strait to art college on hold by going to SFSU or SJSU? I gotta think about it.

Loves on mines. Its #1!

Nonchalant.

Woke up a bit late and went to Denny's for breakfast with Anna.
Then came home.
I chatted with my sister for a while.
Ate food.
Finally took a nap, which was off the chain with replenishing energy.
Went to the gym then Church.
Back home and watched One Tree Hill, and other stuff.
Ate food.
Came back online, still wanting to sleep early.
Currently listening to Kindly Unspoken by Kate Voegele.
Ok I'm out, school tomorrow.
Goodnight.

Smiley.

Work out after a month hiatus.
Drive.
Skate.
Practice; became a tenor.
Chill.
Kick it.
Sleep.
Breakfast.
Now....

It all deserves a smiley face: :]

Sweetness.

To end my Saturday I spent time with my two homies, Ron & Cuts. We did this and that, then that and some of this. It was fun. The right way to end my day.

Discontented.

First of all, I didn't expect any praise or captivation. I didn't expect any person to say that my artwork is spectacular. And I didn't expect to be handled the way I was. No one really asked me about any of the stories behind my paintings. No one asked me, "what's going on here?" or "why did you make this?" Nobody took me into depth. That, and those type of questions, I expected. I was ready for them. I was ready to be asked difficult questions about my work and respond with substantial, deep meanings. I was ready to show colleges the aptitude for art that I had. Don't get me wrong, the colleges did not put me down in anyway or gave me negative comments. They critiqued and gave me their honest opinions. I respect that, and that's exactly what I want. But I didn't want something more, I believed I deserved it. I believe that I deserved better feedback or better questions, because I know that I really put quality work into my pieces. They don't know that though, but I thought that they would get an idea of it by looking. I guess not. I was told that I need more drawings; I understand and agree. I was told that my portfolio doesn't quite balance; I agree. I was told that my color use was great and full of potential; I agree. I was told that I was getting lost with color; I don't agree.

I went to CCA first because that's the number one school I want to go to. I didn't go to others first and build up stamina for CCA. I went to them first because it was the most important and I was fresh. The man told me I need more drawings, because he said illustrators can draw anything. In a way, I think he perceived that I wasn't so good at drawing. That is false, because drawing would probably be my strongest ability. He loved the color in my pieces. Then, he decided that I should resubmit my portfolio. Just because I didn't have any good drawings? I understand that. As he was pausing before checking the box saying "Resubmit..." I was yearning, inside, that he'd change his mind and check the box that said my portfolio has been approved. He didn't. Right after, he told me what he did and its not that my portfolio doesn't have the potential to be approved right then and there. He also told me that he could see loads of potential in my work. And his favorite piece was my print, a piece that I made quickly. Thank you.

Next, I went to Otis. The lady there did ask me about a couple of my pieces and I explained. She liked what I had to say. She also liked my print.... She told me that she hopes I apply because she believes that I would have a good chance of being accepted. That's nice, wouldn't you say? That was the type of thing I wanted to know. But, then I also found out that while you learn art at Otis, you earn your GED. Something that I don't want to do and something that I can do at SJSU. She was nice though. Thank you.

I went to Laguna College of Design next and they were taking so long with their kids. So, my father and I left the line. Thank you.

Lastly, I had my portfolio reviewed by Parsons. If I was accepted by them, that would be so cool, because they're located in NY, NY. The man told me I need to go back and do more traditional work as in still lives, but just copy, recreate. I was told I need more drawings and not to include pieces over a year old. He also told me that my work was all over the place and that I needed to stick to one thing. I can agree there, because there are pieces in my portfolio that I put in there just to occupy space. And he told me that he thinks I got lost with color. Thank you.

I wanted to go up to Art Center, but I didn't have the courage. I knew my portfolio wasn't adequate enough. I guess thats a bad on my side. Plus, the line was long. Oh well.

I also saw a lot of, I guess nice looking, girls... with flat asses. O_o
To sum it up: National Portfolio Day wasn't as good, for me, as I had hoped.

I waited over an hour in my dad's car, in the McDonald's parking lot, as he shopped in Amoeba.

I drove home and while doing so I was falling into stage one of sleep. But, I made it.

I'm here now, a bit crushed and lost; lost without the confidence and ambition I had beforehand. All I know and want to do now is go out. I want to hang with friends and people because I haven't in two weeks. I think I'd be ok with it.

Also, I saw HELLA subies today. It was crazy and too much to handle. The most of them were wagons and it was a mixture of WRXs and 2.5/Outbacks. I never knew. I guess SF loves Subaru and wagons. Saw hella Outbacks and Legacys too, but you see them all over the place.

So... that's basically it. The blog-worthy information and stories. Bye.

A Breather.

I've got a little bit of time, so I'm taking use of it. So I'm finally finished with finals and they weren't as bad as I imagined. I guess it was because of how they were this week and how I needed to work so much this week, that I just worried too much. It feels as if I just finished another school year, but its just the first semester. Wow. First half of senior year is now behind me and just one more left. How cliche but, time goes by so fast.

I'm so proud of myself. Bold statement as it is and I'm not feeling arrogant to say it. I really am proud of myself. Within two weeks, I've created half of my portfolio. I worked on art for hours, leaving me with exhaustion and laryngitis. My voice was also lost for over a day. Now that its back and I'm feeling good, the end is not yet. Tomorrow is a big day for me, specifically the morning. Tomorrow is National Portfolio Day. Its when many art and design schools from across the nation gather at one spot, California College of the Arts (where I want to go), and review applicants' portfolios. I'm going to art college, I'm shooting for it. And at this moment I'm confident. I've got what art colleges are looking for in students. My work is not work of a novice. My experience is vast. I've grown so much. I've just got to be accepted, somewhere, its no question.

Got to revise my personal essay, work on more paintings, finalize some pieces, and plan out tomorrow's schedule. The busy never ceases to buzz. This is what life is now, the real authentic hard knock life. Its work. Its countless things to do one after the other. It is what it is and I'm going to kick its ass.

Peace out, I'm off to accomplish my self-set tasks.

At a mild dramatic brink.

So tomorrow I'm finishing up my tenth/eleventh piece and it may just be the last one. With the time I had, I believe I built a well portfolio. With more time, of course, I could have done better, but this is how I made things. All I have, mostly, is hope and faith.

Finally, I finalized, though not yet final, my works. And finally, subject to change by replacement in the future, I bought a portfolio.

I urinated around or exactly 15 times today. Seriously. Talk about crazy.

I began to loose my voice last night and at that instant I knew it was bad. I need my voice for Saturday because I'm going to be interviewed by the college I wish to go to. So, I continuously drank water, because it seemed to help, thus making me urinate so much. Also drank apple juice this morning. Now, I'm on multiple healing techniques. Hope and faith, hope and faith. :]

So tired, I am, as always... but thats an understatement. But yeah, You can understand my situation. I'M SO TIRED!!!!! I wish I could just sleep right now. I also wish I could sleep for an entire 24 hour day. But I can't. So be it.

Let's continue to walk forward into life. I'm here and I'm not stopping.

Goodnight.

Plus one.

Finished another painting and I really like how it came out. Yay me!

I'm proud of myself, for making these pieces with suck little time. Even so, I can feel how my skill is growing, while in the process. I hope so direly that I make it to California College of the Arts.

I'm going to need help to get through this week.

Night!

Pain, agony, exhaustion.

I guess I can be exaggerating about my situation. I am really tired though.

Finished another painting and I can sense my art self growing, becoming more sophisticated. But I know, as a profession, its going to be very difficult. Rather yet, art college in general. Four years. Am I ready? Not completely. Can I do it? No question.

La, la, la... going to relax now and watch more House. All the while think of new ideas for more pieces. The 19th is going to hit me faster than a baseball.

Live, all the way from my room in a house in a court of a street within a neighborhood of a city of a state belonging to the US of A, of the world... goodnight.

Stretched, kinda, thin.

I'm amazed by myself at the moment. I finished a sketch, complete with shading, of an STi and it was within two hours. Amazed I am because I can honestly say that I still have it. Rather, that I'm good at drawing. Yup.

My goal for this weekend was to finish at least three pieces. Portfolio Day is in a week. I'm so scared! Now my goal becomes two and heck, if I'm fortunate, I may even go crazy and do five in total. That would make me so proud of myself.

Yet again I'm really tired. My back is sore and aching, and all those fatigued symptoms. I need sleep, or just rest. I also need to have close to, if not at, 15 pieces. What to do, what to do? Mind says keep working but knows I won't attain great results, but it'll still be work, and the body says no, relax for tonight. I'm going to relax. I'll also try to get over somewhat wasting valuable work time. Can catching up on House make up for it? I hope so.

Haven't peeped scorn since August. WTH! Thats crazy!! I wish I went longer.

G'night y'all.

Collage.

That painting I started a month ago and never completed... I turned it into a collage and finished it. It is DOPE. Then, it kinda got ruined after my dad put a gloss finished. That angered me a bit. I hope it'll be fine by morning because I want to show my teacher.

Damn, I'm so tired I can't even type.

Went around today for Yes! Paste....

Tired, tired, and tired.

Week one is about done. One more. Lots of work to complete.

Laaaaate.

It continues; haven't died yet.

Woke up late and was late.

Worked more.
Finished two pieces.
Happy that I finished pieces, I know I've got spirit backing me up.
Preparing more.
Sleeping early(er than last night and the night before.)

The next days of school until the 18th:
Four projects due this Thursday and Friday. One completed. Another one uncertain for initial start. Other is with a partner, which is going well. Last is... with partner but has not been started.
Crap....
Next week is finals week..
Crap....
I'm not worried about finals that much, I never do. But this year I actually or probably will have a final for each class. Super gayyyyy! Plus I'm trying to meet the deadline and gotta write a personal statement.

Tired, exhausted, wasted, spent, drained, fatigued... I'm gone. G'night.

So this is what its like. Growing up.

And hardworking.

You know I couldn't go to sleep after not blogging for a week or more, because I began one but never finished it so its now saved waiting to be finished, even though I am thoroughly exhausted.

If you're planning to attend art college, you've got to begin your portfolio early. Seriously. I knew it but it just never worked out like that. Now I've got two weeks until National Portfolio Day, which can be the day to give me a college to go to or the day to crush my artistic skills, and I've got no really good pieces finished. MAJOR SADFACE.

Now I'm proving to myself, and whoever, that I can do it. I shall come up with at least 15 pieces within twelve days. I will make it to SF for that day. I will get into an art college. And I will attain my dream of becoming a professional artist. Damn right.

I'm not kidding when I say I'm so tired. I'm aching worse as I continue to write, but I just write so easily. It flows. Also, I have four projects due this week. I really should have done some major work during my break. But its not wrong to use break as a time to relax. I mean its not called "Time off to do other things."

I'll be incognito, not by choice, for the next two weeks. It may even be nice. I know I'll make it.

Good night.